Sometimes, a movie comes along that is essentially exactly what it says on the tin. Something that the trailer suggests where there aren’t really any big surprises. The movie is what it is. You go see this movie, you know what you are going to get, and if the movie is as good as the trailers suggest, you get something fun and entertaining that is, again, exactly what the advertising campaign says it is.
Oh, I just saw the new A24 movie Onslaught. Why do you ask?
Celeste (Adria Arjona) is an army vet, a sniper, who occasionally get the shakes while doing target practice near the desert trailer park where she works as an on-site manager. She is unexpectedly given weekend custody of her daughter Daisy (Blake Kennedy), an excessively polite child, when her ex-husband has to do something vague out of town and he can’t find another sitter. Given Celeste has a trailer full of guns that she is apparently not legally allowed to own, she isn’t too happy to have the child dumped on her without warning while at the same time she isn’t happy to learn her ex is preparing to move to another city, taking Daisy with him, and possibly getting sole custody. Celeste seems to have a good relationship with Vietnam War vet Josiah (Reginald VelJohnson) but a shakier with sketchy local cop/resident Kovacks (Eric Wareheim of Tim & Eric). But then again, she was shooting a lot of guns and I said this movie is exactly what it said it was, so what’s the problem?
That would be the secret defense experiments happening nearby that are either the government or private contractors (it’s unclear) where old German scientist Dr. Hans Kammler (Dan Stevens in weird old age make-up), possibly under direction from his wife Hanna (Rebecca Hall, not wearing old age make-up), is making supersoldiers from a trio of believed-dead war criminals types known only as “Crybaby,” “the Cockroach,” and most dangerously, “the Butcher” (UFC champion Alex Pereira). These guys are built to kill until they can’t, able to see in the dark, hold their breath for long periods of time, ignore pain, and even resist injury with proper muscle flexing, all while retaining their military training and lacking any sort of conscience, and yeah, they get out and start killing. They aren’t too far away from Celeste’s trailer park, so yeah, they will cross paths.
Like I said, this movie is exactly what it said it was. It’s a 2026 version of a low budget exploitation flick from the 70s or 80s, with a strong James Cameron influence given the soundtrack, the way the silent soldiers with the glowing eyes seem like some sort of Terminator, and there’s even Michael Biehn hanging around in a small supporting role. It’s not a deep movie or anything, but director Adam Wingard does this sort of thing well, and the movie could be something of a spiritual successor to his fun as hell You’re Next. It’s not a deep movie or even one with any sort of subtext beyond the opening credits, but It’s fun for what it is.
The one exception to that may be Drew Starkey’s Cyrus, an operative of some kind looking into the supersoldiers after they escape. He’s not a badass sort of guy. Heck, he’s kinda high in every scene he appears in. Every time Cyrus appears, presumably to maybe offer unfunny comic relief, the movie essentially grinds to a halt. The character is uninteresting, and he doesn’t even really provide much in the way of plot exposition in any sort of interesting way. Cyrus aside, the movie works as a throwback to the sort of movies that just wanted to toss some action scenes with unstoppable killers, a little bit xenomorph, a little bit Terminator, and a little bit Michael Myers. I wouldn’t rush out to see this one, but it might make a good couch watch with some like-minded friends.
Grade: B
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