I’ve never seen a single episode of the old Fantasy Island TV show with Ricardo Montalban. I do vaguely recall ads for a 90s TV remake with a black suited Malcolm McDowell. I still know roughly what the show was about, though. The mysterious Mr. Roarke would host guest stars on his mysterious island where fantasies could come true. Simple enough concept, right?
Well, it’s 2020 now, and Blumhouse has a new movie version that seems to be leaning more towards horror. Could something like that work?
The movie opens after a quick, seemingly intense opening scene, with a plane coming in for a landing with five new guests for Fantasy Island. Lonely, regretful Gwen (Maggie Q) wants a do-over for a bad decision she made. Rowdy stepbrothers J.D. and Brax (Ryan Hansen and Jimmy O. Yang) want to live it up with a wild party. Policeman Patrick (Austin Stowell) wants to serve in the army like his late, heroic father did. And quirky Melanie (Lucy Hale) wants to have revenge against a high school tormentor. Mr. Roarke (Michael Pena) welcomes the lot of them, promising they will all get their fantasies.
But something seems off, and not just because a crazed Michel Rooker keeps popping up with cryptic warnings. Will these people experience their fantasies or find their own ends?
So, all things being equal, much of the movie struck me as dumb but nothing terrible. Roarke laid down the island’s rules, and the guests had to follow them. But there’s something about the movie isn’t right here. For a horror movie, if indeed this Fantasy Island is supposed to be one, isn’t overly scary. Some early jump scares might lead that way, but ultimately, it isn’t that frightening. The characters have connections that gradually come out, and I was mostly fine with what was happening. It wasn’t good, but it likewise wasn’t bothering me either. True, Pena seemed rather flat, and the various guests are more or less stock characters learning lessons, but the movie wasn’t what I would have called bad, just dumb.
Then a third act reveal comes along, and while the movie laid hints for what it was, it just doesn’t really work somehow. The real fantasy was just off somehow, and a few earlier details didn’t quite factor into anything, and what had been passably dumb somehow ended up as just dumb. Is the island itself evil? Is Roarke? Are there limits to what the island can do? These questions are somewhat answered, but that didn’t make the end result all the satisifying in the last twenty minutes or so of the movie.
Still, unlike Downhill, at least I was never bored while I watched the movie.
Grade: C-
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