Did The Hitman’s Bodyguard do that well either critically or commercially back in 2017 to merit a sequel? Well, it got one. My recollection of the first was the action scenes and plot were rather rote at best, but Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson had good comedic chemistry and Salma Hayek stole every scene she was in (which were few) as Jackson’s hot-tempered and very violent wife. But the rest? It was forgettable, at best. I mean, Gary Oldman played the villain, and I barely remember that fact.
And yet, there is a sequel, and my primary concern would be that it would take the best part of the first movie (Hayek) and try to milk her for far more than the character can deliver. You know, since the sequel’s title is The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard.
As the sequel starts, Micahel Bryce (Reynolds) is having a nervous breakdown, forever having nightmares that his win at the bodyguard awards is being interrupted by a laughing Darius Kincaid (Jackson). It would seem that not only did Bryce lose his license, but taking a bullet for Kincaid in the first movie was not a good enough move to get his license back. His therapist suggests he take a sabbatical with “no bodyguarding” by taking a two week trip to Capri, Italy to relax. However, he isn’t there long as Darius wife’s Sonia (Hayek) soon shows up looking to get his help to rescue her husband from some criminals, and Sonia has never been one to take “no” for an answer. Darius disappeared during their honeymoon, just when Sonia was hoping to start a family, and she wants him back, mistakenly assuming that Darius requested Bryce’s help.
Meanwhile, a Greek billionaire terrorist (Antonio Banderas, who doesn’t seem the slightest bit Greek), angry that the EU is putting sanctions on Greece (they’re doing what now?) is looking to hit back at the rest of the European Union with a complicated plan I won’t get into here. Interpol is on the case, but the title trio manage to bumble their way into this mess and get involved. Can an annoying unlicensed bodyguard, a foulmouthed killer-for-hire, and a con woman with a very violent temper stop Banderas’s bad guy and save Europe?
If the first movie’s saving grace was the comedic chemistry between Reynolds and Jackson with Hayek doing rather good work in a handful of scenes, this one doesn’t even have the benefit of that. The action scenes and the overall plot are still rather rote. If Gary Oldman was wasted in the first as the villain, this one likewise wastes Banderas, though his performance is a bit more memorable than Oldman’s. The comedy isn’t all that sharp, the the idea seems to be to give certain characters twists. Hayek’s Sonia wants kids now, and that is basically her whole thing. I don’t recall Reynolds’s Brice being in-universe considered super-annoying, but he is this time. Jackson is basically every character Jackson plays these days. This all might have been fine, but I never felt as if anything they had to do was all that funny.
And that was what the whole movie felt like: one big waste. Besides all the characters listed above, there’s also not much given to the likes of Frank Grillo, Richard E. Grant, and Morgan Freeman. Freeman’s character is something of a surprise. Yes, his name and face have been in the advertising, but I felt like if I said who he was playing it would somehow spoil an intended surprise or two about the movie. And yet, I also don’t think a movie this uninspired has earned that. Of the actors listed in this review, Grant might have come across the best, and he’s in the movie maybe five minutes. I didn’t actively hate this movie. I was too bored to feel that much.
Grade: D
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