There just seems to be some movies that have really memorable titles even if I’ve never seen them. Case in point: 1984’s C.H.U.D. That, apparently, stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. Until recently, I’d never seen it, and the sequel that apparently went the comedy route has a subtitle right up there with “Electric Boogaloo” in the form of Bud the C.H.U.D.” But that’s the sequel. I saw the original, a somewhat low budget-looking horror movie with a decent number of familiar faces that became a lot more famous later, largely in the form of John Heard as the male lead and Daniel Stern, oddly enough, as the closest the movie comes to a hero. And then there are a pair of doomed cops played by TV actor Jay Thomas and John Goodman.

So, this is a movie where the more famous faces may or may not be all that proud of their work, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad way to go on a Saturday night.

The movie opens with a woman walking her dog down a dark, New York street. She, for some reason, opts to start walking down the middle of the road, and when she stops to adjust a shoe by a manhole cover, a clawed hand reaches out and pulls her and the dog down. Sure, she could have let go of the leash and let the dog survive, but chances are the dog will get more sympathy than a woman we didn’t even get a name for right away. That said, it turns out she isn’t just some random victim. She’s the wife of a local police captain, Captain Bosch (Christopher Curry). He’s already suspicious about a rash of disappearances that his superiors are urging him to ignore, and if you think his wife will be the one to send him over the edge…he doesn’t talk about her much. It’s kinda weird. No, what really gets Bosch involved is a call from ex-con turned reverend (maybe) A.J. Shepherd (Stern). AJ has noticed many of his regulars at his soup kitchen for the homeless haven’t been coming around much, particularly the ones that lived underground in the sewer system. Meanwhile, photographer George Cooper (Heard) had already done some work down there, and there are some strange signs in his own neighborhood he might notice if he wasn’t so distracted by the fact his live-in girlfriend Lauren (Kim Greist) is pregnant.

But there is something in the sewers, creatures that walk like men and pull victims to their doom. However, the real problem may not be the C.H.U.D.s but rather a shaky federal official (George Martin) who seems to know more about what’s going on down there than he lets on. The creatures are hard to take down as it is, and while Bosch is determined to take them out while he can without causing real turmoil to the city itself, and AJ is looking to maybe save some lives while George just wants to survive a trip to the sewers he unwillingly made with a pushy reporter, it may not matter as that fed, whatever his job is, may be more interested in covering things up than collateral damage.

It was kind of weird seeing so many actors I recognized in a movie like this. I mean, I am well aware that even the most famous of actors all had to start somewhere, and none of these actors are exactly Hollywood A-list or anything so much as reliable character actors. But it’s still weird where a pair of Home Alone supporting actors are basically the heroic leads, particularly since arguably Stern does more of the heroics than Heard. It does mean that the cast can carry the material, even if it is basically just a B-movie horror flick where the C.H.U.D.s are maybe bulletproof but can be killed in other ways.

However, it is still basically just a B-movie horror flick, and that’s fine, but aside from a moment or two that I found kinda funny when the C.H.U.D.s just seem to jump people despite the fact that the C.H.U.D.s don’t seem to be all that smart or stealthy, it wasn’t all that unique. The C.H.U.D.s aren’t bad to look at as creature designs go, and director Douglas Cheek does seem to know to keep them off-screen as much as possible. But the movie isn’t all that scary, and Bosch’s lack of concern over his missing, presumed dead wife is kinda weird. But it’s a movie where the most memorable thing is the title, a decent movie with nothing all that special in the end.

Grade: C


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