So, here’s where I start off by reminding my hypothetical readers that I am not a gamer. I have never played Minecraft and have a rough idea of what the game basically looks like, but that’s about it. Does the game have a plot of any kind or is it just about building things? I have no idea. I am not planning on finding out any time soon either. I did go to the local AMC and get a ticket for the IMAX screening that had a fairly large number of kids for the IMAX screen, and a bunch of them applauded when the movie ended, so kids like it. Did I?
Well, I will add that a post-credits scene made no sense to me until I overheard a kid sitting a couple seats away explain a reference to the game that was sort of treated like a punchline.
The movie opens with young Steve (Jack Black as narrator and adult version) who wants to be a miner, as opposed to a minor, and when he gets the chance, he digs deep into a mine and finds a cubical orb and a crystal to put it in, and that opens a portal to the Overworld where everything is cube-shaped. He discovers that the place has some weird rules, that he can build just about anything out of blocks, and he befriends a wolf that he names Dennis. Then, one day, he and Dennis accidentally find themselves in the Nether, a hellish alternate dimension inhabited by pig-people that spend all of their time mining for gold, and whose sorceress ruler Malgosha (voice of Rachel House) has banned creativity. She can use the orb to do bad things to Overworld, but Steve manages to get Dennis to take it to the real world, safe from the pigs who turn into zombie-like beings when exposed to the sunlight of Overworld.
If that sounds like a lot, that’s basically the first ten minutes setting up the movie. From there, the movie ships to Steve’s old home town in Idaho and how the orb falls into the hands of town teenage newcomer Henry (Sebastian Hansen), his guardian/older sister Natalie (Emma Myers), former video arcade game champion/local celebrity in his own mind Garrett “the Garbage Man” Garrison (Jason Momoa), and random realtor Dawn (Danielle Brooks) to the Overworld where, working with Steve, they may need to save the local pacifist villagers from Malgosha and her plans of conquest. Steve and Garrett have something of a clash of egos, but the Overworld is dangerous enough without all these piglins showing up. Will the day be saved?
I mentioned above that this movie seemed to go over rather well with the kids in the audience for my screening, but for me, not so much. The first ten minutes, setting up the story the movie actually tells, would have probably made for a fine movie by itself. Likewise, there’s no reason to have this many characters from the real world. The only real explanation for the Dawn character to be there, besides the particular skillset that she brings to the world–all the characters have a talent of some kind that helps save the day–is because she’s played by a recognizable actor. Both Dawn and Natalie are largely forgotten for stretches at a time, focusing more on Black’s and Momoa’s respective characters. Maybe include the Henry character since this is basically a kids movie, and there’s a much-tighter movie to be had.
Now, it’s not a bad movie, so much as a remarkably “meh” one. Black brings his usual enthusiastic energy to the movie and even sings a couple original, Jack Black-ish songs, and Momoa seems to be having fun playing a washed-up jerk who is still trying to live off a minor fame he used to have. I did find one or two jokes that worked, and the odd subplot involving an Overworld Villager getting to the real world and finding love with Jennifer Coolidge ends with a bit I somewhat liked. But overall, this is a movie that exists, is probably geared more towards kids who play Minecraft, and that’s about all it is.
Grade: C
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