2023 is over, and that means a year-end review of my movie-going experience for the past year. However, I have to say, I got a little picky this past year. Owing to a number of factors, such as the need to take care of Stacker Challenge entries, having a steady girlfriend for the first time in years, and just the fact that COVID made me rethink my old “go every week not matter what’s playing” policy, and there are a lot of movies that came out that I would have seen in years past that I just plain did not get to see this past year. So, movies that seemed to get nothing but negative reviews like Wish or the new Exorcist movie? I haven’t seen ’em. No Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey for me.

Consequently, I get the impression that many of these “worst of” movies might not have made the list in years past because I would have seen far worse movies, and I’m mostly going on the ones I did see.

But for now, how about what I thought was the best of the year, counting down to one from 15?

Tom’s Best of 2023

15. M3GAN

No one would expect something like M3GAN, a January-release horror movie, to be good, but it had a nice satirical streak, the killer doll was an incredibly impressive-looking effect, and it was a surprise hit for a reason.

14. Barbie

Speaking of something no one would have expected before it came out, Barbie was undeniably a good time at the movies. Yes, Mattel and the various studios will probably learn the wrong lesson from this huge hit, but Margot Robbie’s Barbie and Ryan Gosling’s Ken are both perfectly cast in a story that’s more about how the roles of men and women as poorly understood by toys. Will Ferrell, a comedic actor I usually like, didn’t fit into the movie very well, and the humor in the third act didn’t quite work for me, but there’s no denying director Greta Gerwig has another fantastic film on her hands.

13. The Creator

On reflection, The Creator falls apart a bit in the third act, but my god, was this one beautiful to look at as it is essentially a sci-fi version of a Vietnam War movie. If I remember right, it was also made on a fraction of the budget of many a big budget sci-fi movie, and somehow, it looks better.

12. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

There were a number of fun action and adventure movies that came out this year that, for one reason or another, bombed at the box office despite how much fun they were. Most were parts of established cinematic franchises, but then there was the light-hearted Dungeons & Dragons, and this one really didn’t deserve to bomb.

11. John Wick: Chapter 4

I know this isn’t the end of John Wick. These movies are too successful. But man, was this a good way for the character to go out. It, at the very least, felt like the end of Mr. Wick’s journey.

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

This revamp of the Ninja Turtles works as well as it does because the Turtles, for once, acted like actual teenagers (and were voiced by them as well). The animation didn’t always work for me, but the story sure did.

9. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Here’s where my list started to get trickier. I knew what I wanted in my top ten, but ranking them just got harder. Let’s take the third Guardians of the Galaxy for example: a bright light in a year that wasn’t good for Marvel or Disney critically or commercially, it acted as a tragic origin story for Rocket while also ending with a celebration of these characters. James Gunn may have moved on to Warner Brothers, but I suspect DC Films is in good hands after what was one of if not the best trilogy in the MCU.

8. Killers of the Flower Moon

Martin Scorsese, my favorite living director, showed the face of evil, sometimes with a friendly appearance and sometimes dumb as a tree stump, in this return to form for the director with both of his longtime acting partners (DiCaprio and De Niro) together for the first time. Based on what really happened to the Osage Indians, it’s a story of greed and violence told by a director who specializes in that sort of thing.

7. Poor Things

It’s an absurdist, steampunk sort of take on the Frankenstein story, cemented by a dynamite performance by Emma Stone as a woman who discovers the world in her own unique way.

6. The Boy and the Heron

A beautiful piece of animation from an old master, namely Hayao Miyazaki, tells the story of a boy, mourning his late mother, and the magical journey he takes when he follows a talking bird to an alternate world.

5. The Holdovers

Three cast-offs at an exclusive boarding school find themselves forming a makeshift family. But it’s an Alexander Payne movie, so they’ll do so with a lot of cringe along the way. Funny and heartfelt at the same time.

4. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Lord and Miller somehow improved upon their first Miles Morales animated movie. The fact that it ran as long as it did and ended on a cliffhanger and I barely noticed the passing of time should tell you all you need to know about how much I enjoyed this one.

3. Godzilla Minus One

Made on a budget that was, apparently, less than the budget of Paul Blart-Mall Cop, this may be the best Godzilla movie I’ve seen in a long time if not ever. I will say this is the first Godzilla I have found genuinely scary, with the creature’s very size and utter indifference to where he was stepping reminding everyone about how the American Godzilla just isn’t, well, this guy.

2. Oppenheimer

It’s three hours of mostly talking, but it’s Christopher Nolan doing everything right and making for a compelling biopic of a controversial scientist.

1. Past Lives

Two Korean childhood sweethearts keep meeting up every seven years or so, and despite that basic description of the premise, it does not for one second go the way you think it will. An emotionally complex and satisfying story on so many levels.

Tom’s Worst of 2023

Like I said above, I skipped a lot of movies this year I otherwise might have gone to see, so these are more like the worst I saw, not the actual worst of the year.

10. Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Normally, I wouldn’t put a Transformers movie here, but this one had a recent Oscar winner’s voice coming out of a robot falcon and saying ridiculous things, and that’s what stuck with me the most. Michelle Yeoh deserves better.

9. Strays

I had high hopes for this crude, talking dog comedy, but it was too crude for me, and all things being equal, not that funny.

8. Hypnotic

I like Robert Rodriguez. I like Ben Afflect. I should have liked this. I was mostly bored by it. It took itself a little too seriously considering the subject matter.

7. Haunted Mansion

There were a couple of movies this year of varying levels of quality where it seemed like there was one actor really trying to a level the rest of the movie hadn’t earned. That was Nicolas Cage in Renfield, Penelope Cruz in Ferrari, and worst of all, LaKeith Stanfield in this turkey. He has a monologue that legit moved me in a movie that really didn’t deserve it.

6. The Little Mermaid

It’s another unnecessary live action remake of an animated classic. Halle Bailey can sing, so no problems there. Akwafina can’t, and that makes all the difference.

5. Napoleon

I don’t expect trailers to be completely accurate, but I went in expecting to see far more of Napoleon’s military career than the movie actually showed. Instead, it was more about his love for Josephine in a manner that didn’t seem the slightest bit healthy for anybody. I was mostly bored by this one.

4. Gran Turismo

The central conflict here is whether racers who learned to drive playing a video game will be allowed to compete on a real track or not. And for the life of me, I couldn’t bring myself to care about either the video game or the racers. If my concerns over Barbie is that it will inspire more half-assed game- or toy-based properties, I think more are going to turn out like Gran Turismo than Barbie.

3. Five Nights at Freddy’s

Hey, speaking of mediocre movies based on video games…

For the record, I suspect most of the movies listed here so far wouldn’t have made past year’s lists. The next two, on the other hand…

2. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

I was mostly enjoying this one. The the actual Hunger Games ended and there was still something like a half hour to go, and I was so disinterested it ruined the rest of the movie.

1. Rebel Moon–Part One: A Child of Fire

Pretty to look at, but that is about all I can say that is at all positive about this movie, the first half of a two-parter apparently. Paper thin characters doing things I’ve seen done many times over in much better movies really isn’t my thing. I normally like Zach Snyder’s output more than I did here, but man, did this fall flat as far as I’m concerned.